Colts’ Polian Backtracks On 18 Game Schedule Being A ‘Done Deal’

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'I miscalibrated my words which caused me to do a bad job answering the question'

The reason that everybody hates politicians is a) they constantly lie and b) they’ll never fess up to it.  Politicians–regardless of party affiliation–think they’re smarter than the average Joe.  That’s why they became politicians in the first place.  They think the mass of Americans are helpless imbeciles that need someone ‘smart like them’ to tell them how to live their lives.  The reality is most people don’t pay any attention to them and they’d actually be good comic relief were they not in a position of power that enables them to screw with our existance.

A classic politician routine is to say something that is incorrect or, more often than not, flat out untrue and then think they can get out of it with a little rhetorical bluster.   They think they’re so hyper intelligent and rhetorically gifted that this actually works–but while they think they’re going all ‘these are not the droids you’re looking for’ most people are just rolling their eyes at their stupidity.  Examples abound from both sides of the aisle (the major political parties are just brands, like Coke and Pepsi.  You may prefer one to the other but they’ll both rot your teeth and are generally bad for you).  George H.W. Bush’s classic ‘Read my lips, no new taxes’ line.  His son’s classic ‘Mission Accomplished’ aircraft landing.  Clinton’s ‘I did not have sex with that woman’.  Pretty much anything Barack Obama says–he did introduce a great catch all explanation that works in any circumstance when you’re caught lying:  ”I miscalibrated my words”.  That means that ‘I knew that something wasn’t true but said it was anyway’.

I’m not sure if Indianapolis Colts’ president Bill Polian has any political aspirations but he’s definitely got the gift for it.  You’ll remember that a couple of days ago he spoke at length about how the 18 game schedule was ‘a done deal’ and a ‘fait accompli’ (which as we learned in the previous post is a fancy Latin way of saying its a “done deal”).  He then went on about how well the Colts were prepared for it.  Now, I thought it sounded strange at the time given the impending collective bargaining negotiations to speak in such certain terms but he sure seemed convinced.

It turns out now that Polian ‘miscalibrated his words’, or at least that’s what he’s trying to convince us of.  It all started after NFLPA President Kevin Mahwe administered this bitchslap:

“My knee-jerk reaction is that I didn’t know [Polian] had the authority to make announcements on his own. But the way I understand it — and I had meetings all day — he said he wasn’t in favor of it.”

“From a players’ perspective, this is not a done deal,” Mawae told The Globe. “We spent three hours in the bargaining session talking about this and, as players, the thing that concerns us the most is the toll this will take on a player’s body. Look at someone like me, a 16-year vet — that’d be 32 more games.

“Of all the things we’re trying to sell to other players, the 18-game season is the hardest thing to sell.”

Polian responded with his tail between his legs:

“I created a headline that was 180 degrees from what was right. Bad job by me in answering the question.”

Here’s what he originally said on the subject:

“I think that the owners, and principally the commissioner, have decided that it’s the way to go, and so the debate, such as it was, is over. I’ve heard recently, and I’m sorry that this didn’t get more coverage earlier, some really, really interesting commentary on it. … I wish some of that dialogue had taken place earlier.”

“The short answer is that it’s a fait accompli, I’m afraid, and we’re going to have to find ways to get those evaluative experiences. We’re not going to sit back and say, ‘Oh oh, 18 games. Now we’re going to become a veteran team.’ That’s not going to work. And it’s not the way we want to play.”

If by ‘bad job of answering the question’ he means that ‘he said something that wasn’t true’ he’s correct.  At least he’s introduced a good catch all response when you’re caught lying to the American lexicon.  Between ‘I did a bad job of answering the question’ and Obama’s ‘I miscalibrated my words’ you’re pretty much covered for all of your future prevarication.

The reality, however, is that Polian is right and was telling the truth the first time.  The 18 game season–particularly as the owners view it–is a ‘done deal’.  The players know this to but they have to go through the negotiational dog and pony show pretending they don’t in hopes to get as much as they can out of going along with it.  Polian got reprimanded because he said what was really going on when he was supposed to equivocate.  That’s commendable, but his reaction like he was caught in a lie isn’t.

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